To Be Good Again
by Verde Rosso Oro
Summary: In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash
1. Chapter 1: Hogwarts

Disclaimer**I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

* * *

"_I'm leaving."_

"_**You'll come back one day."**_

* * *

**August**

**Albus Dumbledore**

"Well now that all matters are settled for the upcoming school year…"

"You are free to go Mr. Uzumaki," I stared at the peculiar boy, "And no need for such formal ways of speaking my boy, Hogwarts is happy to have you."

The boy fidgeted under my gaze, constantly opening and closing his mouth. It was rather amusing actually, seeing as he was stiff as stick not even five seconds ago.

"Er…Professor Albus – I mean Dumbledore, sir…"

Ah, the words are finally coming out, eh? I really shouldn't chuckle at his expense, but he really _was_ a strange boy.

"About the sorting," he coughed. "I won't have to do anything…um…strenuous will I?"

At this I couldn't help but laugh out loud, "Now I understand your nervousness, Mr. Uzumaki, no doubt you've heard the rumors?"

At this comment, I received a brilliant smile; really the boy should smile more. It made him look as radiant as the sun.

"Of course you know the source of those rumors is the fact that we never reveal to our newcomers exactly _how_ they will be sorted." I tried picturing his reaction if I told him that an old _hat_ would be telling him which table to eat lunch at. The closest thing I could come up with was a mixture of incredulity and a 'do I look like I was born yesterday' look.

"R-right," he said, staring at the floor nervously twiddling with his fingers. "I, um, guess I'll go now?" I nodded at him, but as he reached the exit door I called out his name once more.

"Yes, sir?" he turned around, questioningly. "Did you need something else?"

And just like that, the nervousness was gone from his body, leaving a confident aura to surround him. It was strange, throughout our entire meeting his body language would go from nervous-confident-nervous, then back to confident and sometimes it was like he wasn't fully _there_. He certainly was a strange one.

"You forgot to pick up the envelope," I stated, amused.

As he walked towards my desk he apologized profusely, "I'm really sorry sir, I shouldn't be so forgetful. I mean, how could I possibly forget such important papers- it has my materials list, acceptance letter, train ticket, I-," he gulped. I stared at him trying to see if he was being sarcastic. It really was too much fuss over a few pieces of paper.

"I really should've remembered." Apparently he wasn't being sarcastic. Hm.

"No need to be so embarrassed my boy," I laughed quietly. "Even the best of us are forgetful at times. Why, just yesterday I walked all the way to Hogsmeade before realizing I'd left my wand behind!"

I really hadn't, in these times it'd be foolish to, but I hoped it would make him feel better. The way he flinched at my words, it seems it didn't.

"Forgetting significant things like important papers or your wand," he said slowly, as if unsure that he should be saying anything at all. "Can have severe…consequences."

"Ah, yes- yes, certainly." I measured up the boy standing in front of me, his words had peaked my already growing interest. I'm sure my eyes are twinkling with curiosity right now. He reached out for the envelope I'd been playing with, and as I was about to give it to him I noticed his hands. His eyes followed my gaze.

"You hands… are shaking, Mr. Uzumaki," I pointed out quietly.

And there it was again- a change in his body language, I watched him as he examined his hands tremor, he was completely lost to the world. He was still, so still that if I hadn't known he was standing in the middle of my office I might not have noticed.

Suddenly the envelope was ripped out of my hands. The boy began to throw it back and forth from his left hand to his right hand, and he stopped once again. He stared at his hands for a few more seconds, and then smiled satisfactorily. I was about to ask what had made him this happy, when I noticed that his hands weren't shaking. They hadn't been shaking when he was throwing the envelope around or when he had been holding it.

I was about to speak when the fireplace roared and out came James Potter.

"Hey Albus! I just wanted to talk about the student schedules because Harry has Charms and Potions at the same time and the time he's supposed to have Charms he has…well I can't even read it, it's written in Greek. I mean, literally written in Greek- do we teach Greek? Are there some Greek-only-spells running around? That'd be pretty cool, I think I'd sound pretty stu- wait…can you even speak Greek or is it one of those written only lan…" James looked up to see Mr. Uzumaki standing there staring at him with a stupid grin on his face (the mood swings this boy has!). "…guages. Sorry mate, didn't see you there. Am I interrupting something?"

"No, it's okay. I was just leavin' anyways," Naruto (nau-ruu-taw?) grinned at him again. "I'm new here see, so Professor Dumbledore was just helping me set up!"

James visibly relaxed at the boys smiled, if only he'd come in when Mr. Uzumaki had been _brooding_. Yes, what fun that would have been.

"Aren't you a little old for a first year?" he teased.

"I'm _seventeen_ thanks," Naruto sniffed. "Names Naruto Uzumaki."

"James Potter, Defense Against the Dark Arts," James held out his hand for Naruto to shake. "Good to meet you…Na-ta-roo."

Taking Professor Potter's hand, he frowned slightly. "It's _Naruto_."

He probably doesn't realize how fast he says his own name. "Er…right." James said, his face scrunched up from confusion. As Naruto left, James turned to me and grinned. "I get a distinct Gryffindor-ish feeling from him."

I smiled at him, "Yes, I got that feeling as well Mr. Potter. I also got a distinct Ravenclaw-_ish_ feeling from him, though sometimes he seemed rather Hufflepuff-_ish_. Then again, he does have an excellent Slytherin-_ish_ side to him as well."

"Uhm…what?"

"Oh, I merely mean to state that I spent a total of one hour with Mr. Uzumaki, and within that hour he was very expressive," I paused, thinking about the few times where his face would close down and become indifferent, lost in his own world. "Then again, he can be very _un_expressive as well."

Oh yes, Mr. Uzumaki was a strange one, indeed.

* * *

"_Yeah, maybe I'll come back to visit."_

"_**Makes sense, you're not the type to runaway forever."**_

* * *

**September**

**James Potter**

Slytherin.

Slytherin.

Slytherin.

How in the _hell_ did this kid end up in _Slytherin?_

I'd thought for sure he'd be in Gryffindor. But no, he'd gone and ended up in _**Slytherin**_**. **Well, the green really did compliment his hair and it really was his colour…

…what am I thinking?!

The second I saw him, my mind screamed 'he's a Gryffindor alright!'

I've seen him in my classes, a quiet kid sure, but not in an I'm-a-dark-wizard-and-scheming-so-back-off-you-stupid-mudblood. He wasn't even pureblood, how did a muggleborn newbie end up in bloody Slytherin? It was downright irritating. I couldn't see _any_ Slytherin traits in him, Gryffindor yes- maybe even Hufflepuff! But _Slytherin?_ No, absolutely not.

So I thought I'd try to get him more involved in class activities, see if I could judge his character or something.

Trouble was, I'd look around the entire classroom trying to find him and couldn't. At first I'd thought he was playing hooky, that'd certainly be a _Snake_-ish quality. Ditching class because you think you're so much better than the rest of the students and disrespecting your teacher. But no, I've seen him come in to the classroom and I've checked the attendance, he's been to every one of my classes. I've seen him sit down in his seat and yet I _still_ manage to lose sight of him as the class begins.

Maybe I need new glasses.

On top of that, he doesn't do his homework.

He doesn't do his homework for Defense Against the Dark Arts, possibly the best subject to be taught in any magical school in the world, and the first three assignments I give him all he has to show is a black piece of parchment. I can only imagine how he's fairing in all his other classes. It starts with 'P' and ends with 'oor'.

Is not doing your homework a Slytherin quality?

The house average of Slytherin seventh years is Exceeds Expectations, with many Outstandings. It's a bit annoying really (show-offs). But no. This Naruto Uzumaki person was failing my class.

That's why he's having detention with me right now. He's been here for about two hours writing the three assignments to hand in (extremely) late. And I haven't said a word to him since he sat down.

My mind was going crazy over this. I usually tried to keep a distance from my Slytherin students. Call me childish if you want for holding the house a student's in against them but I've been in Hogwarts since I was eleven, it's been thirteen years since and my experience speaks to me and it says: _Don't trust the Slytherins. _I can't ignore that.

But he was different, so very different.

"I don't understand you," I said, frustrated. "You come to every one of my classes, you listen, answer the questions I ask you and you help out in demonstrations!"

He was really good with the demonstrations too. Always stepped up bravely and confidently, which threw me off at first because when he was just sat there, he always looked a bit timid. He was good at dueling too, not afraid to take risks and not afraid to make mistakes. It wasn't 

Slytherin at all, they were too prideful to make mistakes or admit to any they made. But Uzumaki would just grin at me sheepishly and say _he wasn't too good with spells._

"I do, sir," he said looking up at me. It was unnerving when he stared at you. "I can stop if you want…?"

"No, no," I sighed, this was just giving me a headache. He was so _nice_. Like, Hufflepuff nice. "That's all fine, good even. You're practically a model student, if you would just do your homework. So I don't get it, why _don't_ you do your homework?"

Whenever I find him in my swarm of students, he's always attentive, writes notes and everything! I wouldn't have been surprised if he was walking around in blue for Ravenclaw.

Except he's always in green for Slytherin.

I can see him in Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and my personal choice of Gryffindor. In no way does he fit in Slytheirn!

"I never did my homework in my old school, it drove my teachers crazy," He paused for a bit then snorted. "Actually I think I drove my teachers crazy because I'd spend my time doing pranks not homework."

He…played pranks?

He played pranks!

He played _pranks _for god sakes!

I can't believe this, I've been with him for four hours now and there is nothing Slytherin about him except for the fact that he ended up in Slytherin…

…he did end up in Slytherin though didn't he?

But…even though he's so quiet when he talks he's so boisterous, he opens doors for people, good at demonstrations, good at dueling, _respects_ me, played pranks in his old school- even with all those qualities, he still ended up in Slytherin.

Could I trust him?

If he'd been in Gryffindor yes, maybe. But he didn't end up in Gryffindor, he ended up in Slytherin. Ending up in the house of Snake means that his Slytherin qualities were stronger in him than any other qualities he might have.

Could I trust him even though he was in Slytherin?

Just thinking about this kid gave me a headache. I sighed.

Slytherin.

Slytherin.

Slytherin.

_How the hell did you end up in Slytherin?_

* * *

**Naruto**

This place sure was weird.

I'd never been in a magical school before, only seen pictures of it in textbooks at the academy. It was better than the pictures, great even! But definitely weird. I think I just find it weird 'cause I graduated from school when wizards start second year.

I stretched my hand, six hours of writing- sheesh. I'll stick to doing my homework from now on.

But it wasn't just weird because of the school or the magic. It was clear that a war was going on in these lands, and it was clear that it had affected many people in this school. Looking at them though, made me envious. I wanted to have lost as little as they had not a thousand fold more of it.

That's probably why I chose to come here, the closest to my kind and the closest to peace that I could imagine. I hadn't betrayed my village or anything. I'm faithfully loyal to Konoha and would protect her with my life. But when leaving offered me the last remnants of my sanity I couldn't pass it up.

Besides it wasn't like I wasn't ever gonna go back or anything. I'd visit, I'd definitely visit. And if Konoha ever needed me as badly as she needed me in the war, I'd give up my sanity and come back to her. But the village didn't need me right now- the storm was over and… I had wounds.

So many wounds.

Wounds that would never close if I had stayed, stayed in a place that smelled like blood, in a place that was only three days away from where I was…where I was…for _two months_.

Just thinking about it makes me wanna pu-

"Hey, you okay mate?"

I had to have looked like a corpse for him to look so panicked and to ignore that I'm a Slytherin. Because he was Harry Potter and they say Harry Potter _hates_ Slytherins. Which I didn't really get but whatev-

I groaned, my back hitting the wall. I vaguely heard Potter saying something but I couldn't focus on his voice. All I could think about was _sitting in that_ _stupid stupid chair and how he'd __**broken**__ my bones and healed then again and again…and…__**again**__…_

"Don't think about it," I whispered to myself. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it."

I tried standing up but my legs feel as if _they've got a poison in them that won't let your __**wounds**__ heal…as if he's rubbing salt in your __**cuts**__…_

"Please," I sounded so weak, it was pathetic. "I think I need to go to the infirmary my head it_**hurts **__so much that you __**screamed**__ for God to strike you down and __**kill **__you where you are…_

* * *

**Harry Potter**

It was like he was zombie: pale, sweaty and a bit green. I was waiting for him to try and eat my brains.

"Er…do you want some brains- I mean help, or something?"

No, Harry. He'd rather have the brains.

"Don't think about it," he whispered. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it."

He sounded like me when I woke up from dreams about Cedric. About Voldemort, that sick disgusting vile _snake._ Who the hell did he think he was coming back to bloody life and plunging me into the center of this war?! Just thinking about the repulsive "Dark Lord" makes me want-

"Please," He sounded so weak, like he was close to dying. "I think I need to go to the infirmary my head it…"

I stepped forward to help when I realized he was wearing Slytherin robes. That changes things. If I had been in _his_ position would he have helped me? I snorted. Slytherins, help _me_, right. Looking closer I noticed it was that transfer student. That also changes things. A rumor's been going around school, they call him the _Agreeable Snake_.

He opened the door for Hermione in Defense once and hadn't slammed it on me so I couldn't say he wasn't polite. And when Ron passed him saying _"Bloody Slytherin_" he'd just said _"If it bothers you so much I won't hold the door open next time"_ butthe way he'd said it made Ron look a bit stupid, really.

He groaned again.

I put his arm around my shoulder and helped him up. He really looked like he was going to die so I couldn't just leave him. If it was Malfoy, I wouldn't have minded so much. But he wasn't Malfoy so my _'hero-complex' _kicked in.

We were pretty far from the infirmary and at the rate we were going, forget about it. He looked like he was really in pain- that headache must be _bad_.

"So, er…I'm Harry. Harry Potter," I said trying to distract him.

"I noticed. The scar…sort of gives it away," he smiled weakly. "I'm…Naruto. Nice to meet ya'…Harry."

Well he seemed nice enough.

"So, that headache must be pretty bad," Shit, I hadn't meant to say that out loud. How stupid could I get? Reminding him of the pain he's in.

"It's not just that," he winced as if moving hurt. "Before coming here, I…was in a fight. Normally, I'm a really fast healer but…um…well, not this time I guess." Naruto (ne-rew-two?) muttered.

"That must have been one fight," I laughed softly. He grinned at me as if he knew something I didn't.

"Yeah, some fight." He said quietly.

"You know," I started. "You remind me of what I must've looked like when I came back from the maze in the Triwizard tournament back in fourth year. I think I must've given my mother a heart attack."

"Hmm," he seemed to be thinking- that or he was concentrating on not falling. "Heard someone died."

Damn. I was hoping he didn't pick up on that fact.

"Yeah, Cedric Di-diggory," My voice cracked. "He..he was a great guy." And it was my fault he's six feet under.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

It was amazing, being in the presence of someone who hasn't tried to convince me that Cedric Diggory's death wasn't my fault. After ten minutes of silence I was beginning to think he thought he'd offended me. I was about to tell him that I wasn't but he beat to talking.

"S'okay you know," he said hoarsely, I noticed the red circles around his throat. Like someone had tried to choke him. "People die. It's not as uncommon as people make it out to be."

"Oh, and I suppose you'd know." I was suddenly angry at his indifference to someone's death. He made it sound like your goldfish dying not a fellow classmate!

"Yeah, I'd like to think I do," he looked up at me, his sharp cobalt eyes looked at me. "It's hard when someone close to you dies, but you have to let go. You have to let it sink in that their hearts have stopped beating. You have to accept that you're alive and they aren't."

"Have _you_ accepted it?" I sneered, but immediately regretted it. It was obvious he'd lost a loved one. But it irritated me to listen to him talk me like I'm a kid and he's _oh so wise_. It pissed me off.

"No," Hah, he admitted it. Acting all high and mighty when- "But at least I'm trying. Are you?"

I wasn't, I really wasn't. I _wanted_ to feel guilty. I never wanted to forget what I'd done. Even though I kept having nightmares because of it I could _'let go'_. How could I, when it wasn't my life to take. Sure, I hadn't pointed a wand at Cedric and said _Avada Kedavra_ but I might as well have. I couldn't accept his death, it should have been me.

But I couldn't say that to him.

When we opened the infirmary doors Madame Pomfrey practically _threw_ the poor bloke onto one of the hospital beds, promptly swished her wand changing switching his robes to pajamas and then set her eyes on me.

"And you Mr. Potter," she said scrutinizing me. "I trust you haven't gotten any fatal wounds _yet_, it's still early in the school year." She was mocking me. I know she is. But she eyeing me suspiciously and I had a feeling if I didn't say something soon she might force me into a bed for the night.

"Aha…no, not yet," I murmured. "That's not to say that I will end up in the hospital with fatal injuries later in the year…or anything." She left after eyeing me carefully one more time.

"Where's she going?" Oops, forgot about him.

"Don't worry she'll be back to shove potions down your throat and to kick me out in a few." I laughed at that, the woman was crazy.

"Oh, okay," he said lying down. "Guess you gotta go now?"

"Yeah, it was…nice meeting you." It was true, he was the first Slytherin I'd come in contact with that I didn't want to punch the living daylights out of. "Bye."

I smiled heading towards the door, he really was an Agreeable Snake. He good to talk to, he was nice, and Hermione didn't seem to put off by him. Ron didn't like him, but Ron _hated_ Slytherins. I did too. But he was nice. So maybe…

"So maybe, I'll save you a seat in Defense," I turned to him. "If you wanna, you know, sit with me and my friends or something." He stared at me, like he was unsure.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," It was stupid of me to even ask. "Sorry I asked."

"No it's okay," he said slowly. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you in defense then."

I had just reached entrance of the Gryffindor common room when it hit me.

"I just invited a Slytherin to sit in my favourite class that my dad teaches with my Gryffindor friends."

"Good for you," the fat lady sniffed. "But that's not the password."

* * *

"_Goodbye."_

"_**Remember to make friends."**_

* * *


	2. Chapter 2: Extra Credit

Disclaimer **I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

**Note** Quotes for this chapter have been taken from the Harry Potter Series

* * *

**October**

**Draco Malfoy**

"Stupid annoying twittering harlot," I whispered angrily.

Honestly, if that ridiculous little _girl_ would control herself _I_ wouldn't be late for bloody Defense Against the bloody Dark Arts, with Professor James effin' Potter. I stopped to calm myself. It was really unbecoming of a _man_ of my stature to be storming around Hogwarts in a tantrum. I was not a child.

"Time to grow up Draco," I sighed. "No need to go around screaming like a toddler."

I started walking up the staircase when it moved and attached itself to another hallway. A hallway that did _not_ give me a route to my Defense class in _any way_.

Days like these, makes me want to rethink not screaming.

"Hi," I looked up to see-hmm, I think he's that new kid. "You're Malfoy, right? I'm Naruto Uzumaki, 'case you didn' know."

Right, Uzumaki. Slytherin. Fresh Blood. Whatever.

Oooh, wait. Mudblood. Hangs out with Potter. Interesting.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Yeah, so?"

He frowned at me, though mostly he looked confused.

I was also confused, how'd he end up in Slytherin? If it weren't for his robes I'd have pegged him as Hufflepuff.

"I'm kind of…lost. I thought I had Charms first but I actually have Defense," He looked embarrassed, and rightfully so. I could see he was holding his schedule, what kind of idiot looks at his schedule and then proceeds to the wrong classroom? "I just came here to take the stairs but…it doesn't look like any of them connect to the right hallway."

I snorted. Well he's definitely not Ravenclaw material with his complete lack of intelligence.

"In case you haven't noticed," I drawled. "The staircases like to move. Unfortunately for us, it'll be another five minutes before they move again."

"Oh," he said softly. "You know, I'm kind of surprised you haven't insulted me yet. I heard you didn't like muggleborns. And here's one standing in front of you that's probably asked one the most ridiculous questions possible."

"I assume Potter," I sneered when his name left my lips. "Told you that then?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and nodded.

"While my reputation speaks otherwise, no I do not feel the need to insult you right now," It was a lie. In reality I _really_ wanted to, oh and the things I could say. It would have him crying. "Seeing as I'm of age now, going around acting like a common bully seems ludicrous."

It was true. It was time to grow up. I'd seen what never changing- never growing had done to my father. I didn't want to end up like him; cold, alone, spiteful and in Azkaban.

"It really must be killing you then," he grinned at me knowingly. "Not to be throwing every insult you know at me."

His answer surprised me, and after staring at him for several seconds I understood.

Clearly, Uzumaki wasn't a complete idiot.

"Quite." I growled at him as the staircases began to move.

I sighed, it wasn't a direct route but close enough.

"Follow me, this may not be the fastest route, but it certainly will get us to our destination."

"Okay!" He looked at me brightly, exuberantly, _happily_- it was starting to freak me out.

I mean, he's been hanging around _Potter_ for Merlin's sake! That idiot must've told him something along the lines of _'don't trust Malfoy, he'll kill you in your sleep 'cause he works for Voldemort and is a Death Eater.' _But instead of gazing at me suspiciously, he was looking at me like a possible…_friend_.

Creepy.

"You know I could be leading you in to a trap right now," I said, trying to gauge his reaction. "I'm positive Potter and his brainless friends told you to be wary of me. So why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

"Why do you hate Harry so much?" Naruto said curiously.

"He's an annoying, blood traitor with a hero-complex and is unbelievably _nosy_," he snarled. "And somehow he's gotten it into his head that I'll kidnap him in the middle of the night to take him to the Dark Lord. Just last year he wouldn't quit following me around, convinced I'd gone Death Eater. As if a Dark Wizard such as You-Know-Who would be idiotic enough to employ a sixteen year old. I'd kill that asshole if it was legal."

"Huh, well I can see why he would think you a Death Eater," He said musingly. "I mean your dad's a Death Eater, ain't he? Plus you look ready to kill him, probably got loads of Dark Arts shit at your house and you're in Slytherin. Slytherin equals Evil Dark Wizard- in capital lettering."

I froze.

"Are _you_ a Dark Wizard, Uzumaki?" I asked him quietly, dangerously.

"No."

"Do you often dabble in the Dark Arts or play with magical items of the Dark Arts kind?"

"No."

"Do you even know what the basic meaning of Dark Arts _is?_"

"No, not really. No."

"Are you in any way helping the Dark Lord in his plans of muggle genocide and the obliteration of all other non-magical life forms?"

"Um, no?"

"Are you currently residing in the House of Snakes at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you- and I quote- say '_Slytherin equals Evil Dark Wizard- in capital lettering.'_?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not saying _I_ think so, I'm just saying calling you a Death Eater sounds like a concrete accusation from Harry's point of view because of those reasons. Well actually now that I think about it, this school at large- not to mention a whole lot of magical England seems to think the same thing as Harry." His face scrunched up in distaste. "That's pretty stupid and really unfair."

"Indeed." I frowned at him. In my mind I distinctly heard a 'click' as Uzumaki's brain went up a notch on my intelligence scale.

"But s'not like you're any different, you hate muggleborns just because they aren't born from magic."

"I don't know _where_ or from _whom_ you heard that term from, but it's left me impressed that you know something of it," I raised an eyebrow at him, most people believe that purebloods thinking their magic is different than muggle-wizards is just bigotry and arrogance.

"I found some books in the Restricted Section of the Restricted Section, it was actually pretty similar to some other stuff I was forced by my friend to read," Naruto said, his eyes glinting mischievously.

My eyebrows shot up. There was a Restricted Section in the Restricted Section? Just thinking about the type of books just sitting there about the wizarding world- Pureblood family trees, ancient magic, alchemy, magical folklore, a history of magic- Hogwarts was extremely old, the knowledge in its books could possess magic that was lost throughout the years!

My mouth was practically drooling, I tried to picture Granger's look were she to find out about this whole new section of the library. If I was like this- and I was prepared to throttle Uzumaki until he told me where to find it- well I could only imagine. (It would probably involve cornering him at wand point with a bottle of veritaserum).

"It's got an illusion on the door so you can't see it, and it asks you a question before you can go in and the first time I went in it had all kinds of traps! Took me _three tries _before I could get in!" He seemed more excited at the challenge of getting into the library rather than the library itself. "I'm good at that kind of stuff you know? Finding things that are hidden, getting past traps- I call it an occupational side effect."

"And what sort of career could you possibly have at seventeen while still attending school?"

"You really wanna know?" His face turned serious- I'll admit, he had me curious.

"Please, do tell." I drawled hoping I sounded nonchalant. Uzumaki looked behind his shoulders suspiciously and then took a step closer to me, his hand covered the side of his mouth getting ready to whisper something.

"_Hi-mit-su."_

He opened the classroom door and walked in, leaving me frustrated over the unfamiliar word. I want to know what the word meant. I want to know of his supposed 'occupation'. I want to know where that damnable library (if it even exists) _is_.

The entire conversation we had was almost useless to me. For all the questions I'd asked I only received half-answers and more questions. It was aggravating how he had been so evasive, dropping little hints everywhere, he'd expressed his opinions but had still managed to be…amiable. Not that I'd been any less. Well I wasn't all that amiable. But I was more amiable than ususal.

Well I talked to the bloody git didn't I?!

Back to the point, he was more…Slytherin than I'd imagined him to be. And smarter than I'd first thought.

"Bloody hell, it's come down to complementing muggles has it?" I muttered to myself.

Still, he was a pretty agreeable bloke. You know, for being completely irritating.

* * *

_  
According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else... _

**Library**

**James Potter**

"Okay, so this row of books is all about Boggarts," I said pointing to some books. "_What People Fear: A Study of Boggarts_ _by Esmee Serpentine _is probably the best one we've got. Unless you go to the restricted section- not that, uh, you should; against the rules and all that."

"Thanks Potter-_sensei_," Naruto laughed. "I'll remember to follow every rule in the book."

"What'd you just call me?" I blinked at the unfamiliar word.

"Oh, er sorry, _sensei_ means teacher in my language is all," he said sheepishly. "But really thanks a lot, I probably should know about Bogg-harts by now, being a seventh year an all."

"Huh," Truth be told, I was kind of out of it. "It's okay some people should know about red caps when they're my age."

"What?"

"Er…I mean, some people don't even know about _Boggarts_ at my…age. Does that sound right? Yeah, yeah it'll do." Okay so I was _really really_ out of it. I couldn't focus around this kid, everytime I looked at him all I could think about was…well...blood, and lots and lots of pain.

_Madame Pomfrey stepped into my classroom. "Mr. Potter if I could take a minute of your time, there is something we need to discuss."_

_I blinked, she looked a little freaked so it can't be anything good. "Right, uh you guys just pair up and list ways to defend yourself against a vampire from the most effective to the least," I turned away from my students and followed the medi-witch out. "Poppy are you okay? You look like Remus when he walked in on Serious and Elise having sex…that is to say you look a little disturbed."_

"_Oh yes, well I imagine you will be too after I tell you what I am about to tell you," She sounded a little breathless as if she'd ran a marathon. I was suddenly worried._

"_Is everything okay? Did something happen? Is anyone hurt?" When I thought about it she would only be contacting while I was teaching class was if something had happened to my family, Remus or Sirius. The thought of anyone of them hurt or worse…_

_I shivered. "Say something Poppy, you're starting to scare me."_

"_Er yes, well about two weeks ago Mr. Potter barged into my hospital wing." I do not like where this is going. "He was holding onto Mr. Uzumaki (yu-zoo-meh-ki?), who looked like he was about to slip into unconsciousness."_

_I knew it he's gone and hurt himse..wait what? Uzumaki?_

"_Okay I don't get what this has got to do with me," I said, unsure I wanted the answer. "Unless you think Harry had something to do with whatever was or is wrong with Mr. Uzumaki. Harry would never do that but if you want I'll-_

"_Just listen!" she screeched. Scary woman. "After he left I checked Mr. Uzumaki said he had an enormous headache- which I gave him the medicine for-_

"_Okay so he's all better my son's not in trouble, why are we talking about this?" I didn't get and she was going about this agonizingly slow. "Just spit it out already, it can't be that bad can it?"_

_She started choking on her words and sighed. "I'm afraid it is 'that bad'. You see, since he's new I asked him some basic questions to make a portfolio for him to keep with my Infirmary Files. But through the entire thing he kept slipping into unconsciousness- well not really, more like he kept having…flashbacks, if you will. And let me tell you by the look on his face they were far from pleasant flashbacks. I think they were memories he repressed about him being…being…" She sighed again. _

_Okay, now I was really curious. Class be damned, I'm prepared to stand in this hallway till Christmas. I was already too confused trying to figure the kid out and this new development just made him even more mysterious._

"_After I gave him a Sleeping Potion, I noticed blood dripping onto his hand, rolling up his sleeves I noticed his bandaged arm- clearly the wound had reopened," She stopped, breathing deeply. "I tried some healing spells to close it up but they only worked a little bit, after doing some research, taking blood samples, I realized he'd been poisoned. It's a particular type of poison that's very rare to find, its job is to slow down your body's healing process. The worst part is that there is no cure, you have to let the poison run its course. Thank God it's almost out of his system."_

_OooOoh shit. That is _fucked_ up._

"_That's disgusting! Who would do that to a seventeen year old kid?!" I imagined how I'd feel if someone had done that to Harry. Murderous is a good adjective to describe what I felt. "Purposely trying to kill him slowly! He should talk to Dumbledore, this can't just be ignored."_

"_Well actually, the point of the poison is to slow down your healing process not to shut it off," Poppy gulped. "It's more like if I injected it into your system, my intention would be to keep you alive but just barely while I…"_

_Again, I do not like where this is going._

"_Poppy, what are you trying to say?" _

"_I did a check up to see if his body was healthy, which it is but the recovery would be faster if he'd rest up a bit- couldn't convince him to stay for a few weeks in the hospital, the boy is stubborn!- but I know what I saw. He has injuries all over his body-_

_I don't like where this is going at all._

"_Poppy, maybe he just got into a fight. Boys like to rough each other up a bit." I asked a little too hopefully._

"_I was a medi-witch through the first war you know!" She snapped. "I've seen those types of wounds; the enemy doesn't always use crucio. It's rare that they don't use the unforgivable, but sometimes…sometimes they use other methods. And I've seen you with Mr. Uzumaki these few weeks and you two seem to get along, better than him and his head of House I daresay. It's clear he hasn't talked about it and he needs to get it all out, so I thought you could have a word with him."_

_I pulled at my collar nervously. "Madame Pomfrey, are you implying that Mr. Uzumaki is-_

"_I am _not_ implying I am certain of it!" she yelled. "Mr. Uzumaki did not gain these injuries from some scuffle he had with his friends. All his injuries even the ones that have healed, he has gained them all from a long exposure to_

_And she said the words that shattered my brain into a million pieces._

_**-torture."**_

You can understand why I was having trouble making decent conversation.

_I say there are spots that don't come off... Spots that never come off, d'you know what I mean?_

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**Slytherin Common Room**

"Potter's really starting to try my nerves," Draco growled. "I've tried avoiding him these past few weeks, but he's really starting to piss me off."

"Well you could always try hanging around me, I rarely ever have a run in with Potter," Blaise drawled. "Plus I've met the most interesting Ravenclaw, she's a pretty little thing." He grinned at the memory of their encounter.

"I doubt it'd work, Potter would just start hounding you and your 'pretty little' Ravenclaw as well," Draco sighed. "What I need is a plan to severely anger Potter, I'll only do it once just to get it out of my system."

"Face it Draco, you're just twitchy because you haven't scare off half the population of first-years."

"Whatever," he responded scowling. "Now what to make Potter seethe in rage…"

"A Boggart…" Naruto trailed off, engrossed in his book.

"Boggart? There _is_ one in the Defense room…" Draco smirked. "Not a bad idea, Uzumaki. I didn't think you had in you, being friends with _Harry_ and all."

"You know at first I was skeptical about this unorthodox acquaintanceshipyou two have," Blaise said, eyeing Naruto. "But the more I get to know you Uzumaki, the less I care about your blood and strange habit of picking up Hufflepuff niceties. A Boggart, indeed. I want in on this one."

Several hours later Naruto's head snapped up. "Did you say something Zabini? I was kind of lost in this book about Boggarts Professor Potter gave me to read…and there's no one here except me." Naruto looked around the common room one more time, before shrugging and going back to his book. He had to hand in a report tomorrow, for extra credit (more like, to make sure he doesn't fail Defense instead of being an over-achieving student).

* * *

_Please Review._


	3. Chapter 3: Truth and Trust

* * *

Disclaimer I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter

Disclaimer **I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

**

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**

_Truth springs from arguments amongst friends._

_David Hume_

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**Early November**

**Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom**

**Harry Potter**

I've never been fond of Dementors ever since my third year- the year Peter Pettigrew escaped from Azkaban. They'd been my greatest fear since; Moony says it means that I fear nothing but fear itself and that they affect me so much because there are _true horrors in my past_.

They suck the happiness out of you. I'd think they'd be everyone's greatest fear.

It feels like they're pulling viciously at your guts forcing you to wretch them out but instead of your internal organs little wisps of smoke flow from your mouth to theirs and as your happiness leaves you in a form that's almost tangible- your brain slowly starts to shut itself off being crushed under the frightening misery that has begun settling itself in. If the process was to ever complete, I suppose it's the closest one could get to having a life in which they'd never been loved, never known joy.

But what's in front of me is not a Dementor, not _really_.

It is a Boggart pretending to be a Dementor.

So the real question is: why then did this... fear, feel so real?

Why could I hear it…why could he hear…

_Cedric's __**lifeless**__ body fall to the wet grass with a soft __**thump**__? _

_The scent of __**death**__ in the graveyard full of __**fools**__._

_Peter Pettigrew's __**unrepentant**__ eyes when he __**slit**__ a __**marking scar**__ on his brother's- in everything but __**blood**__- 'son._

_**Little**__ Ginny Weasley sprawled across the cement floor __**paler**__ than ivory, looking as if __**life**__ had been __**beaten**__ out of her- __**broken**__ and __**bruised**__ and giving her __**soul**__ away._

_Snap out of it Harry…snap out…this is just some stupid prank…_

_His scar __**burned**__ as Voldemort's __**strength**__ continued to grow…_

_His __**blood**__ flowing in that __**bastard's **__veins…_

_An eleven year old kid finds out he's __**magical**__ but doesn't realize…with the __**Dark Lord**__ in __**power**__…_

…_he's forever __**damned.**_

"HARRY!"

_No…no…that won't happen…_

"Harry mate, stay with us- 'Mione you got any chocolate?!"

_Ron…Ron would be dead too…_

"Oh, Malfoy makes me so mad I-

_Hermione…she…she…_

"Forget Malfoy, it was that _Uzumaki_'s idea! I told you we couldn't trust him, didn't I?!"

_**What?**_

**The Infirmary**

**Harry Potter**

As soon as I opened my eyes I closed them again. Why in blazes do they make the walls white- I mean, isn't it obvious that when someone wakes up after passing out, the first they don't want to see is bright almost neon white blinding them?

"I _said_ get out you stupid Slytherin git!" Ron yelled, his face was all puffy (which gave me the impression that he's been yelling for a really long time, that or he walked in on Ginny having sex with Dean…ew.)

"What the hell is wrong with you? I haven't even done anything!" Naruto screamed over Ron's er…colourful language.

"Haven't done anything?" Hermione was a little miffed, the nerve of him pretending to be innocent. "I saw you leave with a book on Boggarts myself! And we all know how friendly you are with Malfoy and that Zabini bloke."

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You're blaming _me_ for a prank-

"A prank?! Harry _fainted_ for goodness sake!" Gee, what a nice way to put it. I _fainted_.

-that _Malfoy_ and _Zabini_ played on him?!"

"Bloody yes we do!" Ron spat. "Is that why you were so keen on making friends with Harry and us? To gain our trust and then throw it back in our faces?"

"Trust?" Naruto laughed, incredulous over the entire situation. "Since when have you ever trusted me? Face it, you took one look at the colour of my tie and immediately scribbled my name on your hit list. The only reason you even let me come within ten feet of you is 'cause Harry wanted to be friends with me."

And a whole lot of good that did me. How do authors describe what I'm feeling…oh, hear it is: white hot rage at being so cruelly betrayed. The sodding bastard.

"It's no use denying it, we heard Malfoy say that you helped him himself." She pointed out matter-of-factly.

"And you believed him over me?" Naruto sounded bewildered. I admit, it did sound pretty bad, believing your –supposed- friend over your known enemy who's always tried to screw you over. But leading Malfoy to me with Dementors was worse, and I'd always suspected there was something suspicious about him. "What the- how cou- what did he say?"

"Said that he got the idea from you!"

"Could you get more stupid? I was reading a book about Boggarts- which Hermione over here, saw me leave the library with and incase you're wondering, it was for an extra credit assignment for Defense- in the common room. Both Malfoy and Zabini were sitting there, the could've easily heard me mumbling to myself turned to look at what I was reading and went- Boggarts and Harry equals bad mix, let's do it!" His voice went squeaky at the end imitating a kid with a stupid idea.

"I don't believe you," my voice was hoarse which meant either I screamed a lot when facing the Dementor or have been asleep for days.

"Harry! You're awake, why didn't you say something?" Ron and Hermione were immediately at my side. It made me smile to have such great friends. Unlike some untrustworthy blonde exchange student bastards.

Ron turned back to Naruto, remembering their argument. "People have always been trying to kill Harry, and most of them have been either Slytherin or have a dark background. Why the bloody 'ell should we believe you?"

"What does being a Slythein and having 'dark' ties have to do with each other?"

"You're probably working for Voldemort-

"I'm muggleborn you fucking idiot!"

"Don't call Ron an idiot!" I yelled. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks as my voice got louder. "You're always talking to Malfoy, who's always hated me-

"What so being friends with you means I can't be friends with anyone else? I think most sane people call that an _abusive_ relationship."

"And being a Slythering has everything to do with being dark! There hasn't been a light wizard to ever come from the slimy house of gits-

"Oh, and I suppose you've met every Slytherin graduate out there?"

"Being sorted into Slytherin means there must be something wrong with you-

"Being sorted into a house doesn't define you! Use your brain, the students are suppose to define the house not the other way 'round-

"Yeah well, what a fine job Slytherin students have done," I said sarcastically. "Tell me how many of your housemates are fighting on the light side of the war? Are any of them willing to join us?"

"You're not exactly welcoming are you? The poster boy for 'fight for good not evil!' has a quarter of the school judged and won't give them a fighting chance and thinks that they'll just waltz up to you and say 'hey I'm on your side'. Unbelievable, you're un-fucking-believable!"

"Shut up! You have no idea what I've seen and it ain't pretty! Why should I give any of them a fighting chance when I _know_ they'll all be traitors and sell us all out?!"

"What you've seen? That's a laugh. You haven't seen _shit_ Harry. Because if you had seen anything worthwhile you'd give up on your little 'dark wizard, light wizard' belief. If you had seen _anything_ in your sad hypocritical life you'd know everybody has a story, you'd know people don't just pop out of their mom evil, you'd know that _demons aren't born, they're made_."

"Who the hell are you to tell me that I haven't seen anything?"

I was mad, madder then I'd ever been before. It was like there was a growing lava pit in my stomach boiling over seething rage, itching to let itself loose. "I've had people try to kill me for the last seven years! All of them were either Slytherin, using the Slytherins- who were more than happy to oblige- or were serving the worst Slytherin out there: VOLDEMORT! And then you go and tell Malfoy-soon-to-be-death-eater to sic a Boggart-Demontor on me and think that I'm not the least suspicious of our little "friendship"!"

"How is it that this argument keeps coming back to you? What the hell about me?"

"Why would anyone care about the likes of you?" Ron snapped, re-entering the battle. "You're nothing but a no-good lying Slytherin bastard. Personally, I think it'd be better if you went and offed yourself."

Naruto's eyes went wide, his mouth hung open in shock.

"What he said." It's true that Ron's words were a bit harsh, especially the last part but it was true. We all would've been better off if I hadn't tried to be so friendly.

"You…you don't mean that do you?" Naruto was reeling from shock. "Just because we're having a fight you're going to just turn your back on me?"

"It's not about the fight," I said tightly. "It's a matter of trust. I gave you my trust and you used it against me."

"We've been friends for almost three months that must count for something-

"We aren't friends!" I said harshly, how could he even be pushing for this when he goes and does something so…cruel? "We were _never_ friends."

A long silence followed, a silence in which all Nar- _Uzumaki _did was stare at me with a sort of broken expression. It reminded me of the first time I saw him, collapsed against the wall, breathing heavily and looking as if he was dying.

"You're wrong," Uzumaki spoke quietly, gazing at me with his blue eyes which suddenly possessed a strong quality to it. The kind people get when they angry and hurting. "_I _was the one who gave you my trust, you- you gave me nothing. You can't even bring yourself to listen to my side of the story and instead believe the person who's probably lied to you a million times. You're so wrapped up in your little bubble that you can't possibly think that maybe other people have hurt more than you and you're so bloody self-centered that you can't even think that your actions might cause-

"Harry is not self-centered!" Hermione screeched. "He's the kindest, most selfless person I know! He's always wanted to help people even if it's a burden on him! And-

Just then my dad came running into the room and engulfed me in a bone crushing hug.

"Harry! Thank God you're okay! Lily's on her way now, it's nothing serious is it? What did Madame Pomfrey say? Did you eat chocolate because I brought a bag of it if you haven't even if you have you should have some more…" Dad turned to face Uzumaki with an angry expression on his face.

"What did you do to my son?"

Uzumaki snorted (the bastard). "Like I said, it always ends up being about you. Don't worry Professor; I won't be hanging around Golden Boy anymore. Apparently we aren't and never were friends."

From where I was sitting I could his fists, they were clenched so tightly I could see the blood starting to drip. Uzumaki grabbed his cloak and headed for the door.

"Thank God, I was wondering when you were going to stop imposing yourself on us," Ron said gruffly. "We never liked you anyways, you're a waste of space an-

As soon as Uzumaki turned around Ron stopped talking. No one moved an inch. He was radiating some sort of…aura. A murderous kind. It was like I could _feel_ his dying need to rip us all to shreds... I looked over to see Hermione pale as a ghost and Ron's face displaying a clear need to run away across the ocean but too scared to move, to breathe. It was like a…a…killing intent.

"You know what _Weasley_?" He looked really dangerous, and I looked…scared shitless. And he wasn't even talking to me. "If you don't shut the fuck up I swear I will blow your brains out on your front lawn so when dear old mummy opens her front door she'll see what nice decorations your insides make."

The door slammed shut.

We were lying down on our beds in our dormitory.

"You know," I said slowly. "I think he meant it when he said the stuff about your insides if you kept talking."

There was a slight pause before,

"Good thing I didn't say anything then."

**Slytherin Dormitories**

_**Naruto,**_

_**We've received some news that leads us to believe there might be one last attempt to attack Konoha. The attack is believed to occur sometime between next week and mid-December. Every Shinobia on leave is being called back; we fear that if an attack should occur we might be undermanned. That means you. Enclosed with this letter is another letter for you headmaster explaining your leave of absence…**_

I quickly scanned the rest of the letter and finally reached the end.

_**Also, Sakura has woken up. The medic-nin says that her condition is…it is unlikely that…**_

"Well this is a great way to end a great day…" I muttered sarcastically. Reaching under my bed I pulled out a duffel bag and started shoving my clothes and shoes in.

"Uzumaki!" Malfoy hissed. "It's bloody midnight, what the hell are you doing?"

"Honestly have neither of you heard of a silencing charm?" Blaise sat up groaning. "Oi, Uzumaki where're you off to?"

I dumped all my robes on to my bed, won't need those where I'm going. "I'm leaving, going back home for a bit."

"Is there a particular reason? Does Dumbledore know?" Draco drawled.

"…family emergency. He'll know when I go tell him in a minute."

"How long are you gone for? You're packing everything 'cept your robes." Blaise asked.

"How do you even know he'll let you go? He thinks you unleashed a boggart-dementor on Potter," I glared at him. "Don't look at me, I told dream team it was me but clearly they have a hard time understanding words bigger than two letters."

"Whatever. Anyways I'm leaving with or without his permission. I'll be leaving for maybe a month. Make some good notes for our classes; I'm already failing as it is."

"Whatever," Blaise yawned and crawled back into the comfy green duvet.

"If Harry or any of his friends ask about me, tell them to go to hell," I zipped up my bag and started making my way to the stairs.

"I'll be sure to use better vocabulary," Draco mumbled already half-asleep.

…_**it is unlikely that she will live longer than a few weeks.**_

**Teacher's Lounge**

**12:44am**

"I'm glad Harry's okay," Lily breathed a sigh of relief. "The trouble that boy gets to, it's going to give me a heart attack one day."

There was a soft on the door, Severus who was on his way out opened the door. "I can imagine Mr. Uzumaki that whatever you want can wait for a more reasonable time of day."

Naruto blinked up at his Head of House, "Sorry Professor, I need to talk to the Headmaster."

"Then perhaps Mr. Uzumaki you should take a seat, yes?" Dumbledore called out. "I need to have a talk with you as well."

"I have something for you,' Naruto dug around in the pockets of his black jeans and handed Dumbledore a letter. "I need to go home for a bit."

"After what you did to Harry you think you can just go and have a few days off of school?" James snapped.

"It's probably closer to a month actually," Naruto responded indifferently. "I should be back for the holidays."

"Shouldn't you be using that time to be visiting home," Lily responded coldly.

"It's not any of you business, it?" he retorted.

"Don't talk to my wife like tha-

"Excuse me for interrupting," Dumbledore spoke up. "But Professor Potter is right Mr. Uzumaki, in light of what has happened allowing you to leave is a decision I am unlikely to make. On top of which, it is a dangerous time for young wizards such as yourself to leave for across the continent unsupervised."

"I won't be unsupervised. My teacher should be arriving in," Naruto checked his watch. "…five minutes. We'll travel together. And it's not like I'm leaving for the heck of it."

"I'm afraid that 'family emergency' is an insufficient reason for me to say yes," Dumbledore stared hard at the youth in front of him. "Plus I have persuaded the Ministry to look into your old school, I have my suspicions about it. So whether or not your teacher is coming to accompany you, I cannot allow it."

The firelace roared and a head with spiky white hair came out. "Actually sir, you will allow it. He's seventeen- of age. You cannot keep him here if he doesn't want to stay. Furthermore, while the Ministry might've put in an inquiry about the Japanese School of Magic so far they have nothing. So as of right now, neither my student nor I have anything to say to you."

"Are you implying Mr…

His eye curled up in a U-shaped. "Hatake, Dumbledore-san."

"Mr. Hatake, that in the future that Mr. Uzumaki might have something to say to me?"

"Dumbledore-san, if your Ministry finds something useful then I think you will find the answers to your questions and if they find nothing, then either there was nothing to find or they found nothing simply because they aren't very good at finding things."

"Maa, Kakashi-sensei stop talking in circles and let's go already," Naruto groaned, itching to get out of the damned school.

"I'll be waiting for you at the 'Three Broomsticks'," Kakashi's head popped out of sight.

"'Kay well bye Professor and Professor and Professor's wife," Naruto nodded to all of them and picked up some floo powder "Oh and um, not that you'll believe me but it was _Mafloy_ who did the whole thing with the Boggart."

He stepped into the fireplace, screamed 'The Three Broomsticks' and disappeared from Hogwarts.

He would be gone for a very long time.

A very very long time.

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_Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that? _

_-M. Clark_

_**Please review, I need your suggestions and comments!**_


	4. Chapter 4: Cherry Blossoms

Disclaimer **I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

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"_**You've been back for awhile now."**_

"_I'll leave again soon."_

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**Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry- Astronomy Tower**

**December- Winter Holidays**

**James Potter**

He's still not back yet. It's been weeks, almost a month. The holidays have started.

I sighed, leaning against the window frame.

I don't know what to do.

This kid, Naruto, he obviously needs some help and instead of trying to help I've been…avoiding him. Then the whole fiasco with Harry happened and i-it…it's like everything just flew from my mind and I couldn't even stop for one second and go 'hey, what's your side of the story?' I mean I couldn't even pretend to be indifferent to the whole thing! He didn't even know about Boggarts, I mean there's _no way_ he could've…

I sighed, again.

It's just, for the past seven years it's like, everything and everyone's been out to whack Harry and he's a Slytherin and…

I threw the red ball in my hand against the wall. I think that's my problem. That he's Slytherin. I bet I wouldn't be like this if the stupid brat had landed himself in Hufflepuff. 'Cause you know, then he's suspicion-free.

I wonder what I'd be like if I taught first years.

Hating eleven year olds for the colour of their tie, when you think about it, it's a sick practice. I've been thinking a lot lately. And the more I think the more I feel trapped. I mean if I think about it- which as I said, I've been doing a lot lately- I've been in Hogwarts all my life. I came here when I was eleven and never left.

When I was in school, it was all about the marauders and getting a date with Lily and going on adventures and being loyal, putting Slytherins in their place because they would always be the bad guys and we, the brave Gryffindors would always be the good guys. And when the first war against Voldemort started, it was like that too except the Slytherins called themselves Deatheaters.

And it never stopped.

There was always pressure. For every student in the school. If you're a Ravenclaw then you must've gotten perfect on that potions test, if you're in Hufflepuff you're the rejects of this school because that's where people go when the other houses don't want you and that's probably the reason why your house is described as hard working, because when nothing about you stands out you have to work your ass off to get anywhere.

It was…_is_ like the house makes the student instead of the student making the house _if_ that even makes any sense. And I never left and it's as if I've…I dunno…super-glued myself to this school. I've never been anywhere else, _liv_ed anywhere else and almost everyone I know went to Hogwarts and most of them seem to be trapped in the same place I am. It's like me, Sirius, Remus…we're all trapped in this limbo whacko place where our minds won't move past our year's at Hogwarts and with us is Snape, solidifying our reasons for believing Slytherins are gits that should be hung upside down.

Except Sirius and Remus left. And they've changed.

The world isn't black and white or in this case, green and gold anymore for them.

But for me and Snape, as the guys that never left…we're stuck.

Snivellus is leaving me though, I think the more he gets into this whole double-spy agent and his own crossing over to the light side, the more unstuck he's becoming. The greens blues yellows and golds are all meshing together to form the real world. And I'm still stuck. In my little bubble.

I guess _know_ing this sort of thing isn't enough.

You have to experience the real world before anything changes, before you change.

Yeah, so I've been thinking. In this poetic kind of way which if you just fast forward through comes to this conclusion which I haven't given much thought to. Well I have but not really. My mind's sort of everywhere right now, I mean I still don't know what to do about this Uzumaki kid and I came up to this stupid tower to think about that but got distracted with the whole Hogwarts and being stuck or unstuck thing which I still can't sort through 'cause when I think it's like everything comes at once- plus there's the whole ministry thing with Uzumaki which is throwing me off more and _any_way my point being…

I was thinking I should leave Hogwarts and uh, do something else. Because, I think that's my problem.

I'm naïve, about the world.

See, my thinking is tha-

"James! James!" Sirius came running up the stairs, all out of breath. "Th-there's an at-tack happening at Hogsmeade, right now. We have to go!"

"But it's the holidays! It makes no sense to attack now, there's no one there except…" I gasped. "Harry! He's at Hogsm… we have to go! We HAVE TO _GO!_"

And just like that, everything flew from my mind.

* * *

"_**Have you seen her yet?"**_

"…_Yes."_

"_**How'd that go?"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

_She'd asked me to come visit her. Her face was all gory and puffed up, kind of like she was crying while hitting her head on a glass wall over and over again. There were wires all over the places and machines making weird sounds, I'd probably know what they did if I'd studied med. She studied med. She was brilliant at it too. _

_Sometimes, I'd get jealous because she was smart, head strong, had great chakra control and people liked her. I'd get jealous because sometimes I'd think she would make a better Hokage then I ever would._

_I heard a gasping sound and her body arched up for a moment before her eyes opened. I smiled at her, "G'morning…__**Sakura**__."_

"_Na…naruto…" She smiled at me, her eyes all watery. "You came…that's good, I…I wanted to see you before-_

"_Before nothing, you'll get better!" I started yelling but whispering at the same time. "Do-don't give up. The war- i-it's finally over. For good this time. By the time you get out of here, Konoha, it'll be as good as new. And we can have ramen at Ichiraku's. Just wait, you'll see. Everything'll be __**good again**_**, **_I promise."_

_It sounded like she was choking but after a moment I figured she was only laughing. _

"_Don't__** lie,**__ Naruto." She eyed me for a minute. "I… wanted to see you. Not a lot of people get to say goodbye__before they, you know…"_

"_Don't say stuff like that Sakura-chan. Listen, you just __**hang on**__ and I'll stay here, I won't leave again and I'll help you get better. So please…" My mouth felt dry, I licked my lips to start again. But I couldn't, I don't know why I just couldn't. _

_She grabbed my hand and squeezed, it scared me how little strength she had. "S-sakura…"_

"_I've already-y ta-alked to sensei…and my parents…you're my last…" She started coughing for real this time, my heart…it felt like it was going to crack my bones and rip through my skin by how fast it was going. "I know they've told you Naruto. So, that means, you know what I know and I know what y-you know. T-the dates been picked, i-it's in a few days. Be there, okay?"_

_My body felt so heavy, I wanted to die._

"_Sakura, don't talk like that. I-_

"_Be there, say you'll be there."_

_I think I was sobbing._

"_Listen, this team, team seven. Is all I've ever had, you, Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke. Sasuke's betrayed us, ran away, _forever_. Kakashi…he's lost so much already and I don't ever… please Sakura, you're like family…I've only had your friendship for such a short time. We went through so much together, shared so much together, so please-_

"_Naruto, say you'll be there. That you won't leave. Say you'll be there, __**Naruto!**__"_

_-please…__**don't leave me.**__"_

_No._

_Oh god, no._

**Konoha, The Village Hidden in the Leaves**

**Konoha Hospital**

"Kimiko, hurry up! We're missing the party, let's _go!_" Kimiko looked up to see her friends waiting for her at the door impatiently.

She smiled, "Just one minute, I'm almost done. Just two more lines!" She frowned as she tried to write again. "Dammit, stupid pen." Grabbing another one from the counter, she continued to write.

"Okay let's see here, what's left to fill out…

Time of Death: 12:01am, January 1st

She paused, "Should I put…it wouldn't be very professional…oh well…

Time of Death: 12:00am, January 1st, _New Year's Eve_.

"And…

Name: Haruno, Sakura

Kimiko closed the folder, put it on top of the large pile already existing beside her. She grabbed her coat and ran towards the front door accidently crashing into a blue eyed blonde in her rush.

"Oh no, sorry I'm just excited for the New Year's party at my friends," Kimiko to a deep breath. "I'm so sorry."

The boy looked up at her, and smiled tiredly.

"Me too."

* * *

"_**You didn't tell her you'd be there."**_

"_I couldn't lie to her."_

"_**Are you leaving?"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**January**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Dumbledore's Office**

"So it's settled then," Minister Fudge announced. "We shall wait for the student to return, and when he does we will use him to contact his ministry to discuss their dormancy from our world and the suspicious appearance of one _Uzumaki Naruto_."

"I don't think that's how you pronounce his name," James whispered to Lily.

"Those who will attend the meeting with the _Shinobi _Ministry will be myself, Alastair Moody and Sirius Black representing the Ministry of Magic. Albus Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, his head of house Severus Snape and upon the er…_extreme_ insistence from both Albus Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey, James Potter representing Hogwarts, the school that the boy infiltrated at the beginning of the school year."

"Infiltrate? It makes _Uzumaki_ sound like the enemy," James said looking confused and curious. "Is he?"

"He very well could be Potter!" Moody gruffly pronounced. "Keep your wits about you! Constant viligance, I always say!"

"No need to jump to conclusion, Alistair," said Dumbledore. Although, he looked like he was considering the possibility. "He is but a child."

"Unfortunately, I doubt we can say that for the rest of his, ahem, community," Fudge said in a dreary voice. "So, moving on, the meeting shall take place in Professor Dumbledore's office, in which we are currently standing under Dumbldore's insistence."

"What if they say no, to having the meeting here? What if they want _us_ to come to _them_?" Lily asked.

"Let's hope that is not the case Mrs. Potter," Fudge answered tiredly. "This is already more trouble than it's worth. Though I doubt they'd ever ask 'us to come to them' as you put it, to do that I'd imagine we'd have to know where they're located on the earth."

"I thought you said Japan?" Asked James.

"Yes well the fake school listed in Uzumaki's file is in Japan, his birthplace is listed as Japan, but if the answer was really Japan we wouldn't be here, would we Potter?" Snaped sneered.

"Those attending the meeting please note that there will be aurors placed there for your safety, but if you feel you need more protection please inform me, Minister Fudge and I shall promptly get someone else to take your position in the meeting as there is no more additional protection the Ministry can offer you, at this time. The war and all, you see." Fudge placed his bowler hat on his head and turned towards the fireplace. "Sadly, I'll have to see a number of you again so until then, farewell."

"He's gotten a bit…" James flailed his arms around trying to describe what he meant. "...hasn't he?"

"Sure James," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Come on, we'd better check on Harry. Oh, I can't _believe_ he's still in the infirmary."

James hugged his wife tightly, "Yeah, me too. But don't worry Lils, he'll pull through. I know he will."

* * *

"_**Should I come with you?"**_

"_G'bye."_

_

* * *

  
_

_Unproofread, sorry for the mistakes that might be present. Please Review._


	5. Chapter 5: Seasons

Disclaimer **I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

_Note: 'For everything there is a season' - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, not all lines present, not all lines in order._

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

**

* * *

  
**

_For everything there is a season,  
And a time for every matter under heaven:_

_A time to be born, and a time to die_

_

* * *

_

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry **

**The Astronomy Tower**

**Mid January**

He's sitting on the ledge of the tower, leg swaying slightly because of the wind. He breathes in a lung full air, and slowly breathes out.

"I know what you're thinking. Don't do it."

He looked over his shoulder, and smiled wearily at his companion as she came to sit beside him. "What am I thinkin' of doing?"

She gives him a side glance, "It's a pretty long fall. You won't survive."

"I think," he chuckles, but it sounds empty. Meaningless. "That's why it's called suicide."

"That's why I said 'don't do it', _baka_." She shoves him slightly and for a moment it looks as if he's about to fall.

"Push a little harder," he says grinning at her. "And we'll call it murder instead."

"It's not funny you know," she tells him, her face serious. "Listen to me, let's just go home okay?"

He sighs looking to the skies, there's nothing for him to go home to. Nothing he can face. But if he just shifts his weight a bit and looks to the ground all he has to do is lean a little more over the edge and then…

It's a fifteen second drop, but for at least- _at least_ ten of those seconds it wouldn't feel like falling, it'd feel more like _soaring_. And he's sure that for those ten seconds it would _finally_ feel like he's going nowhere but up with no chance of crashing.

His friend grabs his arm roughly forcing him to look at her.

"Y-you're not listening," she's sobbing, and her hands are shaking or shivering, it's hard to be sure. He thinks it's amazing because she's so much stronger than this, than him. "_This isn't you. You were always the one who told everyone to be strong, to hold on be-because that's how we'll get through it all. Come home, let your friends help._"

"_Look it…it's not that simple…I can't. Yadda,"_ There's too much there, too many memories that refuse to be forgotten, he thinks, too much he can't let go of. "I don't want to. There's no point…I…I'm_…_"

Useless.

"What about your dreams?" It feels like she's yelling at him, but her voice is too soft, too desperate. "I know you're hurting right now- everyone is, but it gets better. It always gets better. Just, _please_, give yourself some time to _heal_."

"That's not true," He sounds either as if he's angry or in agony. "I-it doesn't always get better! I could give myself forever but I won't get better I won't heal I'm t-…I'm too…"

He's got no control over his body, it won't stop shaking to match the rhythm of his sobs and he can't stop shivering from the cold January weather and oh god _how did it come to this?_

"You're not…" She's on her knees now, her hands resting on the sides of his head, her forehead firmly planted on his. "You're feeling worthless because you couldn't save some of our friends, but you can save us all the time, you know? I don't think anyone can count the times you've saved so many of us from death."

"I couldn't save you," He whispers to her, breathing heavily. "I-I couldn't bring S-Sasuke back. My most important people… I couldn't save either of you."

"Sasuke made his own choices, okay? That wasn't your fault," She leans into him a bit more, trying to keep him from moving. "And me? You were there, you did all you could. Sometimes…we die of our own mistakes, not someone else's. It was my fault. Not yours."

"But I-

"No! This pain, these wounds they'll heal, I promise a-and I'm the med here so I'm right," Her tears started to drip onto his face, and to him it almost felt like he was catching them. "And I know you think you're crazy because you can see _me_ and you can touch me, but I'm _dead_ so this can't be possible u-unless you've gone insane, but you haven't! You haven't."

"I'm not insane," he whispers to her guiltily. "It's the potion, you're a side effect."

"Potion? Wh-what potion?"

He opens his eyes and looks at her desperate green eyes. "It doesn't matter if I jump. I won't survive." He can hear her loud gasp as her petite body collapses against his rigid frame as he buries his face within her hair.

"You're not dead yet," she manages to choke out. "There's still time to save you. Call for help or go to the infirmary or-"

"Stop, you know how stubborn I can be," He smiles at her nostalgically. "I don't want to save me."

"No, no," She gets up to look at him properly, her vivid pink hair splayed across her face. "I-if you're hallucinating me and I'm here trying to convince you to not do this t-then I could be like your subconscious coming out because…because deep down…you want to live, right?"

He leaned his head back to look over the ledge.

Ten seconds.

For ten seconds.

_Finally_ for ten seconds.

He turned his blue eyes towards her. He must've gone deaf because nothing made a sound and the silence was, well, deafening.

"No."

* * *

_A time to seek, and a time to lose_

_A time to tear, and a time to sew_

_

* * *

  
_

**Herbology Class**

**A Few Minutes Earlier**

**Draco Malfoy**

"Hey, _Naruto_ isn't in class again today…"

"Wonder where he went-

"Let's go talk to Dumbledore after, maybe the Order-

"Harry! Not so loud…"

It was entirely too mysterious to be bothered with.

_He_ was too mysterious to be bothered with.

Comes out of nowhere, failing every class he's taking, drops hints about secret libraries that one can't even be sure exists, leaves suddenly for almost two months and somehow no one knows where the hell he's been.

Although admittedly, it's all too suspicious.

Not to mention the lightning speed at which he was sent to Dumbleore's office the moment he stepped foot in the castle.

I suppose the old man wanted to speak to him about where he's been for two months, though by the look that was on Uzumaki's face that day I don't think that's all there was to it.

This of course raised the curiosity of my three most _favourite_ Gryffindors that have triumphed over _every single evil_ thrown at them. _Thank god _for miracles.

I turned to look at them whispering, if you can even call it that, about him.

"Even if Malfoy was the one who set the Boggart on Harry, it doesn't mean Uzumaki's someone we should be friendly with!"

"Yes, Ronald. You've made that abundantly clear by not being friendly with him at all."

"I think Ron's right Hermione, I mean look at what we know about him."

That peaked my interest, what _did_ they know about him?

"We don't know anything!"

"Well that's already suspicious isn't it?"

I swear the next quidditch match I'm going bash Weasel's head in.

"Ron!"

"He's right Hermione. I mean he's been the talk of the school since he got here. Usually when that happens, you know the persons life story by the end of the first week. But with _Naruto_, nobody even knows where he's from!"

"Yeah, and what about what Sirius said, about his old school not existing an' all?"

Not existing…

"His school documents were forged too."

For a school that doesn't exist to exist, and fool Dumbledore for this long it would have to be more than just fictitious papers.

It would have to be more detailed.

More complex in it's design.

"Plus he's been gone for almost two months and he left in the middle of the night! What does that say about him?"

"Maybe it was a family emergency, like he said when I asked."

That's what he'd said when he left.

But to bring suspicion on himself by suddenly leaving for an extended period of time, he had to have been aware that that sort of thing would bring unwanted attention from Dumbledore.

And to risk bringing a complicated but hidden lie to light, it would have had to be something more than a "family emergency". If that were the reason, then more subtle tactics could have been applied, and by the impression Uzumaki gave me, he would've been aware of that too.

"I say we find out what he's here for, and who he really is."

It would certainly be easy for me to corner him. He rarely leaves the dormitory.

But is it worth the trouble?

"First, let's talk to my dad again and see what he'll tell us. Then later tonight meet me in the common room. I'll bring my invisibility cloak, we'll sneak in to the infirmary and see if can get his medical file. He's been going there a lot lately so I want to see what for, maybe it'll help us."

…

Like I said before, it's too mysterious to be bothered with.

"Let's go to the library at lunch, we can check the yearbooks and see if he doesn't have a relative that went to Hogwarts, and we can also try to cross reference his name to find what the language is."

The Library…

"What for, I don't care where he got his name from."

"If we find the language, Ronald, we can use that to find which countries speak it."

"So it settled then, we'll go to the library first. Then talk to my dad, and then we'll try the infirmary."

I thought about the first run in I had with Uzumaki, more specifically the part of the conversation where a certain part of the school's restricted section was mentioned.

"_I found some books in the __**Restricted Section of the Restricted Section**__, it was actually pretty similar to some other stuff I was forced by my friend to read," _

"_It's got an __**illusion **__on the door so you can't see it, and it asks you a question before you can go in and the first time I went in it had all kinds of traps! Took me __**three tries**__before I could get in!" _

"_I'm good at that kind of stuff you know? Finding things that are __**hidden, getting past traps**__- I call it an __**occupational side effect.**__"_

Finding that Restricted Section, would be something worth the trouble, and mostly likely, more interesting than this dreadfully boring class.

It would most _definitely_ be more interesting.

Uzumaki is most likely to be in the dormitory, or the tower.

I'm already near the outside door of the astronomy tower, so it wouldn't be very difficult to check that first and then make my way to the dormitory.

I grabbed my books quickly shoving them in my book bag, and got up to leave.

"Mr. Malfoy! Get back in your seat this instant!"

I headed towards the entrance to the greenhouse, "Excuse me Ms. Sprout, I'm feeling horrible ill. I must see Madame Pomfrey at once."

* * *

_A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together_

_A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing_

_

* * *

_

**The Gargoyle**

**Ino Yamanaka**

Okay, beautiful. This is it.

"_Are you ready for the meeting, Yamanaka-san?"_

I turned to look at the _Anbu_ guard behind me and nodded quickly. _"Of course."_

Okay, okay so maybe I'm not as ready as I'd like to be, but _come on_ how ready could you possibly be to face a group of people you know nothing about, in a place you've never been in, explain to them _why_ a certain blonde someone was said to be previously attending a school that doesn't exist, then carry on to explain why we the government or country don't technically exist or in their terms 'have been dormant' for x-amount of years, and then in some _miraculous_ manner convince them that we mean no harm, so could you please let Naruto stay here?

Oh, and then kindly tell them that '_no_ we won't help you in your war so you can all go screw yourselves for all we give a damn.'

"_Ah, remember Yamanaka-san, to reveal as little as possible."_

That too.

"_Hai, Wolf-san."_

Oh, my god. Why did I say I could do this? Of all the negotiations I could've picked, it just _had_ to be this one. Actually, why couldn't _he_ have just picked a country that was _within_ our country!

"They're ready to see you now, Miss _Ya-min-ai-ke_." He turned towards the gargoyle. "Lemon Sherbet!"

The gargoyle turned to reveal a spiraling staircase leading up to a wooden door.

"_How do you think I should act, Wolf-san?"_

"_Just as you are, Yamanaka-san, like an Ice Queen."_

"_Right. I'm smart. I'm sexy. But most of all, I'm deadly."_

Sometimes, it felt good to be me.

_**Dumbledore's Office**_

_**The Third of January**_

"_-don't think you realize that you are in no position to argue!" Dumbledore's booming voice echoed._

"_Don't treat me like a __**child**__ that doesn't know what's going on around him __**sir**__," Naruto retorted heatedly. "I know my position, and it won't change my answer. And just to make sure you understand what I'm saying I'll say it again- __**NO**__."_

"_Are you quite sure of your answer?" Naruto took a step back; the aura of the headmaster had changed. It felt stronger. It felt like power. "I am not __**threatening**__ you, or your country. I am merely __**asking**__ if you will provide __**communication**__ to your ministry."_

_The blond glared at Dumbledore hatefully, "__**Give me a reason.**__"_

"_I think it would be in the __**best interests**__ of your ministry to," Dumbledore stared at Naruto from beneath his glasses. "Explain their dormancy, and their position on the war between the __**light**__ and __**Voldemort**__."_

"_We have no interest in __**your war**__," Naruto gritted out. "And there is nothing to explain."_

"_No interest?" Dumbledore questioned, while pacing around his office. "No interest in defeating a __**dark**__ evil that threatens to __**consume**__ us all? No interest in defending __**innocents**__ that do not deserve the __**early deaths**__ that will be and are being __**given**__ to them? No interest in __**fighting**__ for the __**greater good**__?"_

_Naruto's mouth quivered, his breathing slowed to a halt, and he froze._

_It was painful to say, and when he fixed his gaze on the headmaster's moving figure and said, "__**No interest.**__" It almost broke his heart._

_Dumbledore slowly lowered himself into the chair behind his ornate desk, "I wonder Mr. Uzumaki, if you speak for yourself or for your ministry."_

"…_even if you meet with someone from my government, their answer will be the same as the one I gave you."_

"_Ah, but we won't know until actual communication has taken place will we?" he asked. _

"_The __**answer**__ will be __**no**__," Naruto replied firmly. _

"_And what about yourself, Mr. Uzumaki?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at him. "Do you think that it is __**right**__ for your country to not lend a __**helping hand**__, when in __**desperate times**__, that hand is __**needed**__ the most?"_

_Naruto stared just to the left of the headmaster's head, watching __**a little silver ball**__ roll around in a piece of road, made from a metal that's been shaped like the symbol for __**eternity**__, so that the ball would never stop moving. _

"_I'll set up a meeting for you," Naruto raised his hand to point to the trinket he'd been staring at. "In exchange for that toy behind you."_

_Dumbledore turned in his seat to see the trinket Naruto was pointing at, "A peculiar offer."_

"_I'm curious, there are more interesting- certainly more __**powerful**__- things to ask for, and yet you ask for this little knick-knack." Dumbledore rose to pick the toy off his shelf. "__**Why**__ is that?"_

"_The ball __**never**__ stops moving," Naruto put his hands out to take the trinket. "Because of the way the road is shaped it __**never ends, never stops**__. It caught my attention because- well, __**it's kind of sad, don't you think?**__"_

Dumbledore lifted his head out of the pensieve, and slowly breathed out. He turned to his fireplace as it burst into emerald flames. One by one the six others attending the meeting stepped out.

"Ah, welcome to you all," he pulled out his wand and conjured a round table and eight chairs. Seven chairs for the people currently in the room, and one for the _Shinobi_ guest.

Just as everyone seated themselves comfortably in a chair, they heard a knocking on the office door."

"Yes, yes," he called out, heading toward the door. "Who is it?"

The door opened slightly and the head of an Auror popped out, "Um, I brought her up sir, just checking to see if everything's good one more time."

"We're all ready here, thank you." Dumbledore smiled at him. "Please, let her in."

A girl that looked to be about seventeen walked into the room confidently, with whom Dumbledore assumed to be was her guard.

The girl sat down in the empty chair meant for her, and looked to everyone as they slowly introduced themselves. When everyone had gone around the table except for herself she stood up, and bowed slightly.

"My name is Ino Yamanaka, I represent the _Shinobi_ Government. It is an honor to meet you all."

As she sat down, and uncomfortable silence fell to the room. Fudge cleared his throat to start, "So-

"Lemon drop, anyone?"

* * *

_A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  
A time to love, and a time to hate,  
A time for war, and a time for peace._

_

* * *

  
_

_Please review. Sorry for the delay. Thank You._


	6. Chapter 6: Dear Felix

Disclaimer**I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title**To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

Note **Felix Felicis, a Study does not actually exist in RL or in HP.**

**

* * *

  
**

_**F**__elix __**F**__elicis, a study._

_**B**__rought to you by __**T**__hree __**W**__itches __**P**__ublishers_

_**E**__xcerpted From the __**I**__ntroduction_

_Luck, by definition is a force that can bring good fortune or the exact opposite; it is chance, a probability. It can also be described as a combination of circumstances or events that bring good or ill to a person. Although the word luck itself can have a good or bad connotation to it- you can luck into, luck out, luck upon, you can be down on luck, in luck or out of luck. _

_Though, it can be said that most desired form of the word luck is luck__**y**__. To be fortunate._

_Then what of liquid luck? _

_

* * *

_

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft Wizardry**

**Slytherin Dormitories**

**Late January**

**Draco Malfoy**

"I mean honestly," I whispered to Blaise trying to get his attention, seeing him getting up I continued. "What're the chances?"

Rising up from his bed Blaise scratched his head yawning, "Chances of what, you being awake at six in the morning?"

Sighing, I ran my hand through my head, "No, the chances of Uzumaki being _alive_."

It's been two weeks almost and I still can't get over the sheer impossibility of what had taken place, can you imagine?

I'd left Sprout's class and had been heading towards the astronomy tower and unbeknownst to me, that _idiot_ was getting ready to jump off the damn thing! I'd later found out that if some one crazy enough- and apparently crazies to this extent do exist- actually jumped off the tower it was a fifteen second drop.

_Fifteen bloody seconds!_

Fifteen seconds for the only heir to the Malfoy fortune to position himself right underneath the falling mass, realize he was going to die from being a bystander of a mudblood suicide, and pull out a wand to lighten the impact when the bloody fool landed.

_Un_fortunately for me, _I'm Malfoy_ and for my heroic deeds I came out with a broken arm, and a broken wand.

So, not only does Uzumaki survive a deadly fall, he's lucky enough to break my wand so I can't even kill him for landing on me.

No one is that lucky, _no one_. Not even bloody Potter.

"Hm, actually I'm curious," I turned my head towards Blaise, if Zabini is curious, nothing good can come of it. "What did you do after he- you know, used you as a cushion."

I rolled my eyes, for some reason Blaise thought the whole ordeal quite amusing. "I calmly knocked on Dumbledore's office, Professor Snape was there, so I told him what had happened."

"Really?" Blaise snorted, laughing loudly. "I heard you pounded on his door screaming until someone opened it."

"Whatever," I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, bloody Hogwarts- new travels too fast to crush the truth. "It was rather strange though, there seemed to be ministry officials present, and this girl and man I didn't recognize. I think I may have interrupted a meeting."

"Huh," Blaise lied back down on his bed. "Well, that Uzumaki, he's got to be one lucky bloke."

I couldn't dent it, but then looking back at the incident, the fool had been trying to kill himself, and people don't try to do that over nothing. He's got to be the most unlucky lucky bastard I'll ever come across.

Looking down at my right arm that had been broken just two weeks ago, I felt myself flinch, irritation rising, "But, if I ever call him agreeable again, somebody better hex me."

"I'll hex you right now if you don't shut up, Malfoy," I heard Blaise scream- it would have been screaming anyways, if the sound hadn't been muffled by his pillow.

I unfolded the piece of paper I'd been holding all night, rereading the directions written crudely on it. I smiled, because it hadn't all been for naught. I now knew how to get into the unknown section of the library.

Taking out my new wand, I pointed it at the paper, "_Incendio._"

Best not to leave important information lying around.

"I said _shut up Malfoy!_"

.

**Teachers Lounge**

**James Potter**

Guilt.

I knew that he was injured, that he probably went through…_torture_, but I hadn't said anything. It's hard to admit but, I think it was because I was afraid.

He's still in the hospital, recovering from the potion he took so that, if by some miraculous act he was saved he wouldn't live for very long anyways. But we'd gotten to him in time, just barely though.

I haven't seen him since.

It's laughable really, can you picture it- _me_, the great James Potter from the bravest of all four houses, scared shitless of talking to a boy because he's afraid of he might find.

It's not as if I've never talked to troubled kids before- I'm a really well-liked professor so kids aren't as shy about coming to me about their problems, and if I know the kid needs help I'm not shy to come up to then. So it isn't as if I have no experience in this sort of thing, it's just I know don't I? I know what we'll talk about- it isn't just nightmares or home sickness or abuse.

I mean, sure maybe he has nightmares- actually, it'd be creepy if he doesn't have nightmares and he could be homesick and well, torture's like abuse but it isn't even about the whole torture business. At first, _that's_ what freaked me out but after the meeting I find out it's even more fucked up than that and then we'd have to- _I'd_ have to- I mean can you even- _how_ do you even bring it up?

How do you bring up _that_? How do you bring up war?

What do you say, 'hello, how's it going? Good? Oh, yeah me too, me too. Listen I was wonderin' if we could have a bit of a chat about that _war_ you participated in that, well- it just ended didn't it?- well, anyways just wondering, you alright mate? You seem a bit…pale, yeah, jumping off towers does that to a person doesn't it?'

The idea of saying that would've been funny, if it didn't sound completely cruel and morbid. Actually, the whole damn situation would've felt a whole lot less heavy if it wasn't for the guilt wrenching inside of me- waiting to eat me from the inside out the second I dropped my guard.

"He could be a danger."

And saying _that_ out loud wasn't going to make that better but it's a fair point isn't it?

I mean, we didn't get a lot of info out of that meeting, especially since it'd only lasted half as long as it should have, but I know he fought in some war. I don't know how long the war lasted, but I know it just ended. I have no idea how important Uzumaki is to their military or even what his rank is, but I know he wasn't _forced_ into fighting, he chose to.

Lily had screamed for hours after I had told her about how horrible it is for a country to use child soldiers, but I couldn't agree with her. Because it didn't seem like Uzumaki was being _used_, he volunteered- he chose to fight, chose to be part of the military.

The girl, _Yamanaka_, had told us about what _Shinobi_ did- missions they carried out. There was something about rescuing cats, escorts and get this- _assassination_. When that came up, I could see Albus stiffen up because by this point we'd been informed that Uzumaki was a _Shinobi_. We'd been assured that Uzumaki's rank was not high enough to be able to perform such a mission, but we hadn't been given the same assurance when we asked if he participated in battles.

I wasn't very assured in the first place, I mean maybe he's escorting or running errands _now_ and isn't going around killing people but well- that's where he's heading isn't it?

And he _knows _it, even though their country sounded really militaristic it didn't give off the impression that besides a job in the military there isn't anything else that'll put bread on the table, and a roof over your head. It wasn't anything like that- it was a…career _choice_.

And he fought in a _war_ for Merlin's sake! Do you what that can do to a person? How do you bring that sort of thing up?! And on top of that-

"He's a child!" I turned towards the door to see Madame Pomfrey come through. "And he needs to be taken care of and he'll stay in _my_ infirmary for as long as he likes because that poor boy needs to heal. So, you can expel him from school but he will _not_ be removed from the hospital wing!"

"Don't worry Poppy," McGonagall sighed. "He won't be going anywhere. You are correct, Professor Potter that Uzumaki could be a danger, but I doubt there is anything to be concerned about. We have been reassured that Uzumaki won't be causing any trouble and will promptly leave at the end of the school year. In any case, in his current state Uzumaki is more of a danger to himself than to anyone else."

"Has anyone tried speaking to the poor boy?"

"Many have tried, all have failed- myself included. Although," Snape drawled. "I did happen to see him speaking with Draco yesterday."

"It was the strangest thing!" I flinched at Madame Pomfrey's raised voice. It was really, shrilly, sometimes. "Malfoy asked directions to the library of all things."

"I don't think Uzumaki likes me very much," Flitwick piped in. "I'd be lucky enough to get him to even turn his head towards me."

What he said was true enough. It's a strange thing about Uzumaki, if you're a teacher of a class he's in, then he respects you well enough but you never get the feeling that he _likes_ you, or that he likes what you teach or how you teach it.

But the problem is, I wouldn't need luck- he likes me, he would speak to me. Out of _all_ the people in this room, I have the best chance of getting him to talk to me.

Leaning into my chair, I sighed running my fingers through my hair.

Guilt.

It was definitely going to eat me.

.

**Castle Corridors**

**Past Curfew**

**Harry Potter**

_Stop._

This is stupid- pointless even. It isn't as if he'd want to see me anyways.

I turned around and started heading back to the Gryffindor dorms. Besides, why would I want to visit _him_ anyways? I mean it isn't as if we're friends or anything- we don't even like each other!

I don't hate him. But he probably hates me. I mean I did tell him that we were never friends and accused of him scheming with Malfoy even though I had no proof _and_ I _have_ been ignoring him for a while now _and_ glaring at him all the time and maybe if I punch this stone wall-

"Ow!"

Calm down. Breathe. Think. _Calm down_.

"Honestly," I whispered out loud, leaning my head against the stone wall. "You're not asking him out, you were just going to go talk and now you're not going to even do that so…calm down."

I breathed in and out, before grabbing my invisibility cloak from the ground and started walking again. Even if I went what good could come of it? We'd probably fight and things between us would be worse than they already are. Besides it's not like we have things to talk about anyways.

_Stop._

"_What you've __**seen**__? That's a laugh. You haven't seen __shit__ Harry. Because if you had seen anything worthwhile you'd give up on your little 'dark wizard, light wizard' belief. If you had seen __anything__ in your sad hypocritical life you'd know __**everybody has a story**__, you'd know people don't just pop out of their mom evil, you'd know that __demons aren't born, they're made__."_

When I heard that he tried to commit suicide, what he'd said that day was the first thing that came to mind. I can't get it out of my head, it keeps playing again and again- I can't remember what we even fought about but I can say _that_ word for word like I've memorized a speech or something.

"…_everybody has a story…"_

It's why I even sneaked out tonight in the first place- I want to know _his_ story because…

It's just that Dumbledore wants me to help him destroy horcuxes and help in the war what with the prophecy and all, but my parents are completely against it and won't even talk about it until I've _at least _graduated which ticked me off pretty well because I'm not a kid anymore and I want to _help_. I've already decided that even if my parents don't like it, after school ends I'm going to fight.

"… _**seen**__? That's a laugh. You haven't seen __shit__ Harry…"_

That's why I want to talk to him.

I want to know what he's seen because I've experienced a lot, and I've worked hard and fought hard and I have _Voldemort_ of all things to scare me out of sleeping. I haven't _killed_ anyone or anything but I'm not stupid enough to think that _stupefy_ will hold up in a real battle. But he's the one who jumped off the astronomy tower. I don't know how much and how far I can push myself, I honestly don't. I don't know the limit and up until now I didn't even think there _was_ a limit.

I need to know because there's a war going on and whether anyone likes it or not I'm in the center of it and I'll have to fight whether _I_ like it or not and I've never fought in a war before and _I'm scared as hell_.

And maybe – probably, even- Uzumaki doesn't know too much about war, but I think…he can relate.

I don't want to kill myself, that isn't the problem.

I just never want to reach the point where I'll want to.

My mum says that me and the entire population of teenagers are at an age where we think we're invincible and that nothing can stop us. I dunno, maybe I did but I don't anymore, now I know there's a limit- so when do I break?

I've heard of war veterans coming back not completely right in the head- look at Moody- and I've heard terms like post-traumatic stress disorder, so I'm not completely off my rocker when I think of the chances I'll want to kill my self during the war or after the war especially since I'll have to point my wand at the darkest wizard since bloody Grindelwald and it didn't really scare the shit out of me until now because well- I was invincible up until a couple of weeks ago wasn't I?!

Calm down. Breathe. Think. _Calm down_.

"Okay," I reached for the handle on the infirmary door, and pulled it open just enough to slip in. Seeing that Madame Pomfrey wasn't around I took my invisibility cloak off.

"Um, what're you doing?"

"Holy Sh-"I turned around to see Uzumaki staring at me from his bed. "Uh, I um, came to talk…to you."

"Oh."

Yeah, this was going to go _real_ well Harry.

"If you're here to tell me I shouldn't throw myself off buildings then back off and get out."

"No, uh I wanted to know why you did it," I shuffled closer to his bed, it was already awkward talking about this, it was more awkward when I had to yell it so he could here what I'm saying.

"Oh, well they asked me that too, I'm not tellin'."

"No I don't mean _why_ as in what's your reason," I could feel myself sweating, I didn't it'd be so hard to put into words. "I mean like, you know…how?"

I could've slapped myself.

"…are you stupid? I _jumped_ off a _building_-or tower, whatever."

.

**The Library, Restricted Restricted Section**

It was an absolutely beautiful find, if Draco had anything to say about it.

The room it self was circular, with a reading table in the center and bookshelves lining the walls. The shelved only ended where the door had been placed, and the same across from the door where a picture had been strung.

"Oh, another one?" the old man in the picture looked towards Draco, smiling. "My, my, that's more visitors this year that I've had in twenty. I am Librarian, named after the occupation you see, but you can just call me Li, and you would be?"

"Draco Malfoy, sir."

"Well young Draco, let me explain to you how the Library had been arranged," Li said excitedly. "To your left are books of the muggle variety, there you may find the works of Shakespeare, Aristotle, Plato, Charles Darwin and many other books all of them very interesting."

Draco looked towards where Li had been pointing doubtfully, it would be a section he would seldom visit.

"And to my right?" Draco asked.

"Ah, that would a collection of the magic variety. You'll of course find a copy of standard school textbooks all in fine condition, charts of ancient bloodlines, no doubt yours is somewhere in there, and anything by the Three Witches Publishers over there is quite good." Li peered at Draco a minute before clapping his a few times. "Well, go on. There are books to be read."

Raising an eyebrow at the comment, Draco drawled, "The books on top of the entrance, there isn't a dividing line between the two sections. Is there any particular reason for it?"

Li laughed loudly, "You're very smart Draco, at the top of the door, is the third section where magic and muggle literature meet."

Draco hm'ed at the information before turning his attention towards the magic section of the library, picking a random book out Draco looked at the front cover. It was engraved with gold designs, the title reading, _Felix Felicis, a study. Brought to you by Three Witches Publishers_.

"Hm," Turning to the introduction, Draco began to read a random passage to see if the book was of any interest.

* * *

_**F**__elix __**F**__elicis, a study._

_**B**__rought to you by __**T**__hree __**W**__itches __**P**__ublishers_

_**E**__xcerpt From the __**I**__ntroduction_

_Then what of liquid luck? _

_An unseen force that normally one cannot control is now within the grasp of any witch or wizard that can brew it to a pretty gold colour. More than luck, it is serendipity in a bottle for luck in its purest form is neutral, and from its neutral state can it become good luck or bad luck. True liquid luck would be unpredictable, should someone drink such a thing they would not know if they will be having unusually good fortune or if they were in for a dreadfully bad day. So, let us at once do away with the nickname 'liquid luck' because __Felix Felicis__ will only ever give you one variety of luck. _

_

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_Please **review.**  
_


	7. Chapter 7: Keep Your Silence

Disclaimer**I do not own Naruto/Harry Potter**

Title **To Be Good Again**

Summary** In another world, Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher James Potter meets an unorthodox Slytherin- Uzumaki Naruto, a war veteran from the Shinobi Lands. Can these two get past their pride, prejudices, and the unwillingness to trust one another? Not Slash Alternate Universe.**

Note **Part Two of Chapter Six**

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**Infirmary's Front Door Entrance**

**Late at Night**

**James Potter**

This is the first time I think I've felt true disappointment in my son.

I mean, sneaking into the infirmary this late at night hoping that Pomfrey won't be there? As a marauders' son, he should know better. I leaned closer to the small gap between the two doors, trying to listen into the conversation. But, after Uzumaki had called Harry stupid, there'd been no talking even after five minutes of silence.

It's odd though, why Harry's even here. But I suppose it's a good thing I convinced Madame Pomfrey to sleep in her quarters and let me try and talk to Uzumaki. Which was the plan until I saw Harry pacing around grumbling to himself and then finally go through the infirmary doors. I guess I should've stopped him, told him to go to bed blah blah blah but I want to know why he's here. Plus, Uzumaki was talking to Harry and their conversation was going good.

Right?

It's not like anything bad will happen if they just _talk_ for a bit.

Right?

I mean sure, they're not friends or anything- actually they're more like enemies sort of like how Harry is with Malfoy and-

…maybe I _should_ go in there.

I had my hand on the door handles when I heard Uzumaki's voice.

"You know what I keep thinking about? That drink- you know the one that's supposed to make you lucky."

"Felix Felicis?"

"Yeah, I wonder if I had drank that before I you know-

_Tried to kill yourself?_ I flinched, I still can't get used to even _thinking_ about something like that.

"If I had drunk that before, then…would I be alive or dead? I mean to be lucky is to be fortunate, but what does that even mean? What people think is lucky can be the same but it can be different too right? I mean say we both won a free cup of coffee. I might think 'wow! Ain't I lucky?' but what if you don't _like_ coffee- you know what you _hate_ coffee- in fact you're _allergic_ to coffee, then what? Are you still lucky?"

Remembering that coffee was a muggle drink that Lilly really likes, I decided Uzumaki was crazy.

Was he trying to compare what he did to two cups of coffee?! I mean there's being messed up and then there's being _messed up_. Still. I could see his point. What's the point of getting a cup of coffee that you can't drink?

Besides that, what's Uzumaki trying to get at anyways?

"I…I guess I can see your point," I heard Harry choke on his words. I wish I could see the look on his face because right now he's probably thinking how exactly they ended up talking about coffee in the first place. "But if you say that the cups of coffee were a prize o-or something to… a draw and there was maybe two hundred people that have their names in the draw. That means that out of two hundred people we were the ones that won the coffee, I'd say that's pretty lucky."

"Yeah, but you're allergic to coffee."

This might sound crazy but I think I'm starting to get what Uzumaki's trying to say. Well I could picture what his point was anyways. It was like saying I'm at a fair or a festival or something and decide to play a game. What I have to do is spin a wheel and see what I win- the goal is obviously the jackpot which is the hardest to land on.

"What? No I'm not."

Now say that the wheel I'm spinning is super famous and no one's _ever_ won the jackpot before but when I spin it I do! I win the jackpot- but it turns out to be a prank and instead of winning insane amounts of money or cool knickknacks I somehow end up covered in pink goop and chicken feathers.

In the end, instead of having insane amounts of money, I'm a pink chicken. That isn't so lucky.

"But what if you were?"

I _did_ win a jackpot to a super famous spinning the wheel game that no one's ever won before though. That's pretty lucky.

"…I still won a cup of coffee."

"Yeah but you can't drink it! Where's the luck in that?"

Okay, so _my_ example isn't as great as coffee but you get what I mean right?

"What does this have to do with anything?"

It's got everything to with anything! Just replace the spinning wheel game and the coffee with an astronomy tower and a depressed boy hovering over the edge. This kid he's probably gone through _a lot_ and when I say a lot I mean after all he's gone through he probably thinks facing a Hungarian horntail in a fight wouldn't be the makings of a bloody death but would probably thinking 'hm, I might be able to win!'.

But now he's reached a limit. Now, whatever he's gone through- everything he's ever run away from is coming back for him. So when his nightmares push him, he falls to the ground and before I thought it's because he doesn't _want_ to push back, he wants to die but it's not that.

That's not it at all.

"I was makin' a point."

He doesn't push back because he _can't_.

He feels weak, powerless.

"What point?!"

He's lost his strength and if there's anything I understand as a Gryffindor it's the strength. _That's_ why he leapt off the damn tower, and landing on Malfoy, was…well…it was coffee.

"That I won a cup of coffee when I'm allergic to it."

Being the one to win a cup of coffee out of two hundred people- that's lucky, but the problem is he's allergic.

Being saved by a Malfoy-cushion from a fifteen second drop- that's lucky, but the problem is he didn't want to be saved. It made complete sense to me; at least now I knew what I had to do in order to help Uzumaki. I had to find a cure for his allergies.

"I'm the one that's allergic to coffee," I heard Harry point out.

"Didn't you say you weren't allergic?"

"I mean in your scenario!"

I put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing, poor Harry.

**Early February**

**Boys Washroom, Somewhere In the School**

Draco Malfoy quickly dumped his head inside the bathtub's cool water staying perfectly still, until it became very hard to breathe.

Coming up for air, breathing heavily, Draco looked towards the book lying on the stone floor. _Felix Felicis, a study._ He considered it a very good book for the four things it had brought to his attention.

One, Felix Felicis was an extremely difficult potion to make.

Two, luck in its true form is an intangible force that completely disregards what a person may want- unless of course the person is _lucky_ and actually ends up getting what they want, but that never means they'll get it in the _way_ they want. The book had explained itself in detail, but Draco had merely skimmed that particular section, not because it was boring but mostly because it was too confusing for even the brightest witch or wizard to comprehend. He suspected that the author either spoke his own dialect of English, or didn't know what he was talking about by the end of it either.

Three, it made him think about what his luck in the future might be, and to him it didn't seem very bright especially considering it a had a vague resemblance to a Felix Felicis potion gone wrong.

Four, luck is chance and unfortunately or fortunately luck affects everything. _Everything_.

With the combination of these four facts, Draco had begun to consider his options. There weren't very many. That wasn't good.

His father was in jail. His father was also a death eater. Draco was a death eater's son. There's a war. People don't like death eaters. He doesn't want to be a death eater. Does his father want him to be a death eater? If his father breaks out of jail would he come looking for Draco? What about the _Dark Lord_? What about his mother? His family fortune?

He'd thought about all of that, but he couldn't find any proper answers. Until he'd thought of a question that was most important to him and the answer to this question gave him a solution to his problems. The only problem it posed was that it only left him one option.

The question being- _What're the chances that in the future or even __**right now**__ I am safe?_

The answer bring- _Low to the point of being non-existent._

And the solution to safety of any sort?

_Dumbledore_.

Draco dumped his head in water once again, this time staying underneath even longer. After pulling his head out of the water and trying to even his breaths, Draco thought to himself, groaned, before going under once more.

**Gryffindor Common Rooms**

**After curfew**

"You're going to visit him _again_?" Ron blurted out, shocked beyond belief.

"Yeah, I am."

"B-but…Harry _again_- I mean how many times do you have to visit a bloke you don't even like before you've had enough?" Ron yelled running his hand through his hair.

Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder to draw his attention to her, "Ron's right Harry, this'll be your third time visiting Uzumaki. You've gone twice already- _three_ times if you count the one where you snuck in after hours, what else is left to discuss?"

"But that's just it, what I want to talk to him about we never talk about!" Harry shouted frustrated. "First we talked about coffee, then it was cup noodles and the third time it was a two hour conversation about the colour orange! Those aren't _exactly_ my idea of good discussions."

"Besides if anyone should be talking to Uzumaki, it ought to be Ronald," Hermione sniffed.

"Me? _Me?_ What've I got to the bloody git for?"

"Well, and I'm not saying it's your fault Ron, but you did tell him to," Hermione paused, shifting uncomfortably. "Off himself."

"You think this is—"

"I said that it isn't your fault!"

"Then why have I got to—"

"Because you still said it Ron!"

"Well, yeah but that was when—"

Two best friends who were in love with each other, Harry thought, were a real find. They could distract each other so easily, it'd be easy enough for him to slip out of the common room and make his way to the infirmary.

**The Infirmary**

**Harry Potter**

"There's a war going on you know."

Shit. I didn't mean to start talking so soon, I mean I hadn't even made it to Uzumaki's bed yet.

"…okay?"

I pulled a chair next to Uzumaki's bed, I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me, "I'm at the center of this war, or at least I'm going to be right after graduation, when my parents can't try to protect me anymore."

"I get this feeling you should probably be talking to a friend or somethin' about your life issues or whatever-"

Maybe he was right. Hermione and Ron would listen, they've always been there for me, they would understand. Or I could talk to mum and dad, or Sirius or Moony or even Dumbledore! It didn't have to be Uzumaki just because we might be able to relate— I could relate to a lot of people in the Order, in my family, and _especially_ Ron and 'Mione since they've been through it all with me.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Maybe I should just go back to the common room before Madame Pomfrey comes and—

"What made you want to try and kill yourself?"

I really needed to get my mouth to listen to my mind, and I keep asking the wrong question too. Always with the 'why did you try to kill yourself' when I want to know…I rubbed my scar. I don't even know anymore. I looked up to face Uzumaki, who didn't look too happy about my question if his face was anything to go by.

"I said I didn' wanna say anything 'bout that," he said, annoyed. "Quit asking."

Okay Harry, when you can't board the train, fly the damn car— a new approach.

"Can I just go back to talking about the war, that's what I wanted to talk about anyways."

I think. It'd be a good place to start at least, and even better— no way could this lead to hours of talk about _orange_.

**Naruto Uzumaki**

"Why do you keep coming to see me?" I sat up in my bed to look at Harry.

Seriously, it's not like we're friends again. So why?

"Did you hear what I just said," he looks pissed, it's kind of funny. The face he pulls reminds me of Iruka, sort of. Well, not really. Not at all. Why am I even thinking of Iruka? "I want to talk to you about the war and Voldemort."

They both have darkish hair, and a scar on their face, I scrunched my nose but still. Iruka and _Harry…_ similar? I laughed at that, they were way too different!

"For some reason your angry face just reminded me of my old teacher. Man, the pranks I pulled on that guy-"

"Are you purposefully ignoring me?" Harry snapped.

I sniffed, I only wanted to share. Jeez.

"No. But my story is better than yours."

Why would I want to hear a about Voldemort or the Dark Lord or whatever, when I could tell a story about a broken window, a bucket of orange paint and an explosion from a second story building?

"It's not a story. Look this war—"

"I don't want to talk about war."

Doesn't _anybody get that?!_

"You don't have to talk about anything," Harry sighed irately. "You just have to _listen!_"

It pisses me off, people coming in here trying to talk to me about being a _shinobi_ , or about the ware, or trying to relate to me, convince me that 'I should see someone who knows about "these things"' or whatever when I just…

"I just…I can't talk to my family or my friends because…because…" Harry got up from his chair and kicked it with a frustrated yell. "What am I supposed to do? How do you defeat someone who's better at magic than you, better at war, better at _killing_?"

I open my hand palm-up, and tried to picture a _kunai_ in my hand, try to grip the handle like I'd learned from _sensei_.

"You know what we have to face Voldemort? Love. What the fuck am I supposed to with that? Hug him to death?" Harry sighed before sitting down on the floor, his head between his legs.

My imagined _kunai _disappears when I realize: _he's scared_.

It's obvious now, I guess I should've noticed sooner— might've if we'd hung out more. I'd never been the bright one anyways.

"This was a bad idea from the beginning," Harry muttered getting up. "I shouldn't have bothered you with this, especially since your um, 'incident'. I'll leave now but," he ran his fingers through his hair. "I talked to this nurse once, at St. Mungo's when I visited Mr. Weasley, and she knew a lot about this stuff. Self-esteem, emotion, trauma and all that, you should talk to someone."

I snorted, these people never stopped. "You ever talk about that dead guy from that tournament, or how scared shitless you are about this Lord wizard?"

I could see his hands form fists, "No."

"Oh yeah?" I grinned at him. "Why not? _Apparently_ you should talk to someone about this stuff."

"There's _**nothing**_ to talk about."

I stopped grinning, "No. There isn't."

I stared at him waiting for him to go, but he wasn't, "Thought you said you were leaving? I kind of want to sleep, so could you?"

"Sorry, yeah you look tired."

"I am tired."

"I'll leave then."

"Hm."

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_a/n: sorry for the delay. Please review._


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